You’re Not Lazy — You’re Tired, Overwhelmed, and Human

How often do you call yourself lazy? For my millennial and Gen Z clients, that word shows up a lot — whispered when you take a break, shouted at yourself when you cancel plans or sleep in. The truth is, most people I sit with in therapy aren’t lazy at all; they’re exhausted. They’re burnt out from constant doing, caretaking, working multiple jobs, navigating family expectations, and carrying unprocessed trauma.

For many Black and Brown folks, rest was never modeled as a right — it was earned, conditional, or outright denied. Maybe you watched your parents hustle tirelessly and internalized that slowing down is selfish or dangerous. So even when you want to rest, your nervous system won’t let you. You find yourself scrolling endlessly or overthinking instead of resting because your mind doesn’t know how to switch off.

If this is you, you’re not alone. You are not lazy. You are tired, depleted, and your body is begging for real restoration, not just numbing. The next time you catch yourself saying “I’m so lazy,” pause and ask: What am I really feeling? Am I tired? Overwhelmed? Afraid I’ll fall behind?

Changing this mindset takes practice. Start by giving yourself permission to rest in small ways. Try a guilt-free nap. Sit outside with no phone and no agenda. Allow the dishes to wait until tomorrow. Each time your inner critic shows up — maybe echoing a parent’s voice — remind yourself: Rest is not a reward, it’s a need.

Another tip: redefine productivity. Productivity doesn’t always mean checking boxes or hustling harder — sometimes, it’s caring for your body and mind so you don’t break down. Rest can be productive if it means you come back to your tasks more regulated and present.

And please, check in with your support systems. Talk to a therapist if your fatigue feels bigger than burnout — depression, anxiety, or chronic stress can all disguise themselves as “laziness.” You don’t have to carry that shame alone.

You deserve to rest because you exist, not because you did enough to earn it. You are human, not a machine — and your worth has nothing to do with how much you get done today.

Ready to rewrite your relationship with rest? Let’s talk. Book a session or connect with me on Instagram @calmandcurly — you deserve softness, not shame.

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