The Therapy Journey Isn’t Linear: Why Progress Sometimes Feels Messy

When people come to therapy, they often hope for a straight path: week by week, they’ll feel better, uncover clarity, and watch their struggles dissolve. But healing rarely works that way. Growth is more like a spiral than a straight line—you circle back to familiar feelings, sometimes more than once, before finding new ways forward.

This “messiness” doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working. In fact, it’s often a sign that it is. Revisiting old wounds with new awareness can feel uncomfortable, but it also reveals progress. The difference isn’t that the pain disappeared overnight—it’s that you now have language, tools, and perspective you didn’t have before.

Progress in therapy can look subtle: being able to pause before reacting, naming your feelings instead of pushing them down, or showing yourself compassion in a moment where you’d usually be harsh. These may not feel like breakthroughs, but they are the building blocks of change. Over time, those small shifts add up to a new way of being.

It’s also important to remember that setbacks are part of the process. Feeling anxious again after a stretch of calm doesn’t erase your growth. Struggling with boundaries after weeks of holding them strong doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you are human, living in real circumstances that test your resilience.

The key is patience—with yourself, with the process, and with the idea that healing doesn’t unfold on a timeline. Therapy isn’t about arriving at a perfect version of yourself. It’s about learning to move through life with more awareness, more self-compassion, and more tools to meet the moments that come.

So the next time you feel like therapy is “taking too long” or that you’ve “gone backwards,” remember this: progress isn’t linear, but it is real. Every step—forward, sideways, or even back—teaches you something about who you are and what you need. That, in itself, is healing.

If you’re navigating your own messy healing journey, reach out to schedule a session or join our supportive virtual Black women’s therapy group, where you can connect with others and feel seen in your process.

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