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Writer's pictureDaniella Leon

Self-Compassion vs. Self-Indulgence: What's the Difference?

One thing I’ve learned on this self-care journey is the importance of self-compassion. Self-care isn’t about spoiling yourself—it’s about treating yourself with kindness when life gets tough. Self-compassion means acknowledging your feelings and giving yourself permission to rest without guilt. It’s understanding that you’re doing your best, and it’s totally okay not to be perfect.

But self-indulgence? That’s a different story. It’s when we turn to quick fixes—like binge-watching TV or diving into unhealthy snacks—as a way to escape stress. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying some downtime, but if you find yourself constantly avoiding responsibilities or feelings, it might be time for a little self-reflection.


Self-Care: Compassion vs. Indulgence


The key difference between self-compassion and self-indulgence lies in intention. Self-compassion is about genuinely meeting your needs in ways that support your mental, physical, or emotional health. For instance, if you’re feeling completely wiped out, self-compassion might mean taking a quiet evening to recharge. No guilt, just you and a cozy blanket. Self-indulgence, though, might look like zoning out on Netflix for hours—something that feels good in the moment but doesn’t truly help you feel better in the long run.


The "Treat Yourself" Trap


We live in a culture that loves to promote indulgence under the guise of self-care. The phrase "treat yourself" has become a popular mantra, often equating self-care with extravagant purchases or fleeting pleasures. Self-compassion involves choices that support your long-term well-being, like setting boundaries or prioritizing sleep. Self-indulgence, on the other hand, often provides only temporary relief, leaving you feeling even more drained later on.

And let’s not forget the guilt and shame that can come with self-indulgence. You might find yourself caught in a cycle where you indulge to feel better, only to feel worse afterward for not taking care of yourself in a more meaningful way. The goal of self-care should be to enhance your well-being, not detract from it. So, how do we recognize when a “treat” is genuinely uplifting versus just a distraction?


How to Practice Self-Compassion Without Indulging


  1. Check in with yourself: Regularly pause and ask how you’re feeling. Do you need a break, or is it time to tackle that stress head-on? Trust yourself to know the answer.

  2. Set boundaries: Protect your time and energy. Learn to say no to things that drain you. Seriously, it’s okay!

  3. Prioritize long-term well-being: Focus on habits like exercise, healthy eating, and sleep that contribute to your mental and physical health over time. It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress.


Self-compassion is about nourishing yourself in a way that leads to growth, while self-indulgence tends to be a short-term escape. The next time you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to reflect: “Am I taking care of myself, or just avoiding something?” This simple question can guide you toward true self-care, which is always rooted in compassion, not indulgence. Remember, you deserve to take care of yourself in a way that feels fulfilling and uplifting!


To create a self-compassion plan that is customized to you and your individual needs please book an appointment!



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